Chapter 12: What is a Woman to do?
Greetings dear ladies,
We have been reading Chapter 12 for April. Are you all still with me?
Often what we dwell on when we read through this book, Created to Be His Helpmeet, is all that a woman can’t /shouldn’t do. (ie I Tim 2:12 -don’t teach, don’t usurp authority, don’t talk; I Cor 14:34-keep silent in the church)
Ms. Pearl clearly shows the limitations for women in the church. I appreciate that someone has defined this and elaborated on it using the scriptures as a guide. It is my belief that our modern world has really pushed women to take on authority that was never delegated to them. When I finished this chapter, though, I felt discouraged. I realized that dwelling on all that we are not to do in our position as women and “helpmeets” was becoming rather frustrating.
This led me to ask the Lord the next logical question: “What then is a woman to do? What does a virtuous woman look like? Does she look like a down-trodden slave or doormat with her hair in a scarf and never saying a word?” I believe that the Lord answered my query. “No,” He said. “Read and I will show you the beauty of the woman that I have fashioned!”
I began to study the scriptures to seek out how He describes a virtuous woman and what kinds of things she does. I focused on the positive words, the descriptive words, the action words and found that there was as much being as doing in the descriptions. I am going to share a brief list of the words used. The many attributes to be respected and admired in the virtuous women that God describes are amazing. Instead of brewing over all that we can’t do as women, I could instead seek to attain all that God would desire us to be and do, and receive the blessings of following His order.
We have discussed Esther in the past. When Mary Margaret visited she talked much about Esther’s characteristics. The Bible talks about her being virtuous and finding favor with all those around her—particularly the king. Here are the highlights about Esther from my notes from Mary’s talk:
Esther:
1. Was surrendered
2. Had the ability to respond to quiet promptings
3. Exemplified that uneventful beginnings can lead to incredible endings
4. Not fearful
Also here are 6 characteristics of Esther that we can emulate:
1. A grace-filled charm and elegance
2. Unusual restraint and control
3. Continual teachable spirit
4. Authenticity
5. Modesty
6. Humble respect for authority
We have discussed Ruth recently too and here are the highlights about Ruth from Ready for the Season:
Ruth:
1. was steadfastly minded to go with Naomi and finally Naomi gave off talking about it and let her go along.
2. Ruth was willing to labor in the fields for food for them (she volunteered).
3. Ruth asked permission of the authority.
4. Ruth labored in the work—she gleaned until evening, and then beat out all that she had gleaned. She did this until the end of the harvest.
5. Ruth was obedient. Ruth 3:5 Naomi tells her exactly what to do. Ruth says, “All that thou sayest unto me I will do.”
6. Ruth didn’t follow after popularity or riches. Boaz recognizes that she would be an incredible “catch,” that she could easily go after the young men or a wealthy man.
7. Ruth was a virtuous woman (Prov. 31).
8. Ruth was redeemed.
Abigail is a terrific example of a woman who was married to “the wrong guy” and yet she was gracious and virtuous despite her bad match. It says in the first part of I Sam 25, “She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband, a Calebite, was surly and mean in his dealings.” When David asked very humbly for food and drink for his men, Nabal (Abigail’s husband) refused and insulted them. David was ready to fight Nabal for his rudeness and swore an oath to destroy him and all that were associated with him. The following story is worth reading through because it is such an incredible example of beautiful strength and humility in a difficult situation: (Parentheses are my additions)
23 When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground. (Respectful) 24 She fell at his feet and said: “My lord, let the blame be on me alone. (Christ-like willingness to suffer although innocent) Please let your servant speak to you; hear what your servant has to say. 25 May my lord pay no attention to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name is Fool, and folly goes with him. But as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my master sent. (Apologetic) 26 “Now since the LORD has kept you, my master, from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, as surely as the LORD lives and as you live, may your enemies and all who intend to harm my master be like Nabal. 27 And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my master, be given to the men who follow you. (Generous) 28 Please forgive your servant’s offense, for the LORD will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my master, because he fights the LORD’s battles. (Contrite) Let no wrongdoing be found in you as long as you live. 29 Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my master will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the LORD your God. But the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling. (Speaking blessing) 30 When the LORD has done for my master every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him leader over Israel,(Understanding of God’s purpose) 31 my master will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the LORD has brought my master success, remember your servant.” 32 David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. 33 May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. 34 Otherwise, as surely as the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.” 35 Then David accepted from her hand what she had brought him and said, “Go home in peace. I have heard your words and granted your request.”
Following this event, Abigail returned home to find her husband at feast and very drunk. So she didn’t mention it to him then. (Prudence) When Nabal was sober, she told him how he was spared by her actions. (Honest) He seemingly had a heart attack and within ten days Nabal died. When David heard of this he took Abigail as his wife. When David’s servants came to fetch her for David she said, “Here is your maidservant, ready to serve you and wash the feet of my master’s servants.” (Servant’s heart/ Submissive)
Abigail, like Esther, took a great risk in doing the right thing. She went to ask for forgiveness for her husband’s behavior for the sake of all those in her area of responsibility. She was surely blessed for her behavior. (Thanks Daphne for the suggestion to look into the story of Abigail)
There are numerous books written on the subject of “women of the Bible,” so I won’t continue with all the other major figures, but I will mention a few of the obscure names and a few adjectives that describe them.
The Shunamite Woman: (I Kings 4:8-37) hospitable, faithful
Elisabeth: (Luke 1:6) blameless
Tabitha: (Acts 9:36-42) doing good, helpful to the poor, handy
Lydia: (Acts 16:14-15) worshipper of God
Romans 16 lists several others:
Mary (vs 6) hard worker
Phoebe (vs 1-2) servant of the church, helper
Priscilla (vs 3) laborer with Paul
Tryphena and Tryphosa, and Persis (vs 12) hard workers in the Lord
Rufus’ mother (vs 13) as a mother to Paul
Of course Proverbs 31 tells much about a virtuous woman. Rebecca summed up the verses when she wrote to us about the Proverbs 31 woman a year ago. Here is the list she compiled:
v. 11 – Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
v. 13 – She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
v. 15 – She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls
v. 17 – She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
v. 18 – She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
v. 21 – When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
v. 25 – She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
v. 26 – She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
v. 27 – She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
v. 30 – Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Other verses that speak of women say these things:
I Corinthians 11:7 says that praying and prophesying are to be done with heads covered.
I Corinthians 14:35 says to ask our husbands at home any questions of spiritual nature.
I Timothy 2:9 encourages us to be adorned with good works, receive instruction (quietly and with submission), continue in faith, love, sanctity, and self restraint.
Titus 2:3-4 says that a woman is to be reverent and holy, teachers of good things, teach young women to love their husbands and love their children—teach them to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, kind, obedient to their own husbands.
I Peter 3:1 be Christ-like in your submission (when reviled, revile not), have chaste conversations, and respectful behavior, be gentle and quiet in spirit.
Ephesians 5:22-33 as the church is to Christ, so are wives to submit to their husbands
As Mitch and I have begun to teach our young girls what it is to be a woman, we have stressed that outward good looks (being pretty) is temporary, but being beautiful is what is on the inside. It is what is in the heart that shows in our actions and attitudes. (Virtue) We are continuing to encourage our girls to be beautiful.
So, what does a virtuous woman look like? Her attitude of the heart and actions that proceed from her heart bless all those who know her. She is not the image that our modern misunderstandings may conjure. Instead, she is a hard working, active, productive, wise, strong, generous contributor to her household and community. She is the embodiment of the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.) She is the example of how the church should behave towards Christ. She is submissive, yes, and this contributes to her beauty, it doesn’t diminish it. She does not balk at this situation, but out of reverence for Christ receives her position in the order of the Kingdom. In other words, she is beautiful!
Blessings, Amy
